Why you aren't who you think you are Part 2 - Michael's Brain
To understand some of the places stress comes from & what is happening on a neurological level, I will use the work of Dr Ronald Ruden, a board certified internist and medical theorist. In addition to his work as a primary care doctor, he utilises advances in neuroscience to produce new methods of healing, such as the Havening Techniques®. What we do in response to the neurological changes in our brain & the meaning we give it inform our understanding of who we are.
We meet Michael as he is walking home from school. His focus seems to be melancholy as he ponders his parents fighting & how that has changed life for him. The certainty & security so important to a child’s sense of well-being & sense of self is being shaken. There is increased stress in his parents & as a result, he is also in a state of increased stress & neurological arousal. On the chemical level he has increased levels of cortisol & adrenaline & Dr Ruden would say these neurochemicals contribute to a ‘vulnerable landscape’ in Michaels brain - the first requirement for traumatisation.
Next Michael is attacked by a dog (An event happens - the second requirement for traumatisation). Michael is shocked out of his reverie with the pain of the dogs bite, he feels threatened (he gives the event a threatening meaning - the third requirement for traumatisation) & he freezes. The split second between the registering of the blur of the dog and the bite on his hand communicates a sense of inescapability (A sense of inescapability is the fourth & final requirement for traumatisation)
In the blink of an eye, Michaels incredible brain has taken that event & stored it in his amygdala where AMPA receptors have extended on the post-synaptic neuron to act as guards to protect Michael from this ever happening again. Within that same blink of an eye his brain has taken in all the sensory data such as the sunny day, the colours, smells, physical sensations & sounds & encoded them into that memory of the dog attack. All this data now has the potential to become ‘triggers’ so that when Michael experiences one of them, this pathway in the brain is activated & he experiences the emotions almost as intensely as that first time.
When Mr MacIntosh takes the dog away we have a sense that Michael feels all alone with his pain. On some level, it may be that his physical pain & his emotional pain (feeling alone in the midst of his parents fighting & tension & powerless to fix them or stop it) merge.
Michael has lost his sense of safety & now fears being abandoned. These now extend beyond home to the outside world.
His brain will begin to generalise from this point forward in an attempt to keep Michael safe. More & more things will trigger him & his experience of life becomes more & more narrow.
He won’t necessarily know consciously why he reacts the way he does. He won’t make a conscious connection between the dog bite & how he now experiences life. The effects however, will be palpable.
What happens in the brain when an event is encoded as a trauma seems to be consistent among most people. However when a traumatic event happens & our amygdala is activated we can have one of three responses: fight (angry, controlling, grumpy, irritable), flight (wants to leave as soon as there in an increase in stressors, anxiety, doesn’t want to do, pulls back) or freeze (thanatosis, a lump in the throat, inability to express thoughts or feelings, or physically feeling unable to move) For Michael, he froze & this may be why his life seemed to move more & more towards a place of stasis.
For Michael, summer triggered migraines as his brain remembered that summer was when the dog bite happened so summer mustn’t be safe. Therefore it’s possible the migraines are a defence mechanism designed to keep Michael inside.
The weight gain is also symptomatic of a desire to move less & in that way, to subconsciously remain safe.
We pause Michaels’ story at a place where he is beginning to become aware that there is hope of a different & more fulfilling future.
References
Books
Ruden, R. (2015). When the past is always present. London: Routledge.
Ruden, R. and Byalick, M. (2003). The craving brain. New York: Harper.
White paper
Ruden, R. Harnessing Synaptic Plasticity to Treat the Consequences of Emotional Traumatization by Amygdala Depotentiation Techniques: An Electrochemical Model
https://havening.org//media/articles/04c490_462ebbeae12a42d697af1401e1362f161.pdf
